James' Blog

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Posted on March 10, 2022

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As part of LGBT+ Adoption and Fostering week 2021 (7 - 13 March) Adoption@Heart will be sharing stories from some of our adopters, highlighting their journey and experiences of adoption.

New Family Social, founders of Adoption and Fostering Week, provides support to LGBT+ people going through the adoption and fostering process. It works directly with its members and agencies to find families for children in care.

The theme for this year is #BeTheChange. Below, read about how James and his partner decided to build their family.

After researching both the surrogacy and adoption routes very early on, both decided that adoption was the right choice for them to build their family.

James said: “As a same sex couple who want children, adoption was always a preferred option for us.

“We didn’t start the process until we were sure and had the infrastructure we would need to care for children in place – enough bedrooms for one.”

Throughout the adoption process, which normally takes about 6 months, Adoption@Heart support you and keep you up to date on your progress. There are two stages to the adoption approval process: Stage 1 takes around 2 months and Stage 2 takes 4 months, with the final part being where you are recommended to a panel for approval.

James said: “The adoption journey is well called – it is a long journey but there are obvious milestones. We are focussed on each stage knowing that this road would lead us to being able to have our own children.

“There is a lot of paperwork to do, both by us and the social worker, so my advice for anyone would be to be prepared to do your homework and read around subjects discussed in training.

“Adoption@Heart has an excellent training programme so I would really recommend attending as many training sessions as you can - especially the family and friends training.

“For us, the process has gone relatively smoothly, and we are now having pre-meets with our potential children which is very exciting.”

Being a same sex couple, James and his partner knew adoption was their first choice and said everyone at the agency has been very supportive.

“To be honest everyone we have been involved with through the process have been great and supportive. As a same sex couple where adoption was our first choice, but we did have to be aware that for others adoption may not be the first choice.

“In one of our training sessions we were told that 1 in 6 adoptions now is to same sex parents so that gave us some reassurance that we were not alone!

“We decided to go with Adoption@Heart as we felt the support and guidance we would get locally was very important to us.”

James and his partner have experienced many positives in their journey, including finding out new information about each other that they hadn’t previously known such as childhood stories as well as lots more.

“Having the same social worker has made a massive difference for us and being able to be open and honest with her.

We also have kept in touch with the group we started with and made some new friends who are all going through the same journey – being able to compare stories and (sometimes) moan about things with each other was a real positive” he said.

Both James and his partner are looking forward to welcoming their children into their lives at the end of the month, and have this to say to anyone considering starting their adoption journey:

“If you are even just thinking about it go to the initial meeting to find out more – they will give you a “warts and all” overview of what’s going to happen in a very friendly environment and from there you can decide if you want to join us on the journey.” Adoption@Heart is the Regional Adoption Agency for the Black Country, providing adoption services for City of Wolverhampton Council, Walsall Council, Dudley Metropolitan Borough Council and Sandwell Children’s Trust.

Adoption@Heart continue to run virtual information sessions every two weeks and are the perfect place for those who are ready to start their adoption journey or would like more information.

Future event dates are available here which include details on how to book your place via Eventbrite.

For more information call 01902 55 3818 or email info@adoptionatheart.org.uk

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